As I Mature

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you, all you can do is stalk them until they give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes, after that you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others, they are generally more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy the relationship is at first, the passion fades and there better be a lot of money to take its place.

I've learned that, 99% of the time, when something in your house isn't working, one of your kids did it.

I've learned that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

Finally, my own addition.
I've learned that no one is ever interested in what you are doing unless you are doing something you don't want anyone to know about.

Pass this along to 5 friends, trust me they'll appreciate it. Who knows, maybe something good will happen.

If not, tough shit.

I've learned that this is cute even if it's not always true.

Gator-Bird says: Hell Yeah!

Ponder before leaving
Remember what Leonardo da Vinci once said:
    "The average human "looks without seeing, listens without hearing, touches without feeling, eats without tasting, moves without physical awareness, inhales without awareness of odor or fragrance, and talks without thinking."

    He also opined that: "Most men are of naught more use in their lives but as machines for turning food into shit."

Yet he also asserted that:
"Your brain is much better than you think; just use it!"

How to tell someone they don't know what they are talking about
The athoritative way

"Brother, I know you truly believe that but, Amen, amen I say unto you, Eyes have not seen, nor have ears ever heard, a bigger load of bullshit that has just passed between your lips."